From: Lenona on
There are more than 100 responses so far.


........ A 21-year-old daughter calls from the road: “Daddy, the oil
light went on. What does that mean?’’ A son calls from the campus
bookstore: “Mom, how do you write a check?’’

“What do you mean I have to have the car inspected? By whom? Why? I
have to pay for it?’’

“What’s a change of address form? Where do you fill them out? Why do I
need to do that? I don’t get any mail.’’

“What’s my health insurance card? I don’t know where it is, but the ER
says I have to have one to get seen.’’

“Security deposit? And first and last month’s rent? Are they kidding??
Where am I supposed to get that much money??’’ (Just guess.)


It’s not all their fault. We boomer parents, for various reasons, have
lined our children’s nests in ultra-feathery comfort. We have steered
them through all their money, car, cellphone, travel, computer,
insurance, and job issues. Unlike bird parents, we never really kick
them out of the nest. (I know parents who speak to their college kids
three or more times a day.)

Most of us certainly didn’t grow up this way. My husband is,
admittedly, an extreme example. He had to mow the lawn, paint the
house, put the trash out, bring the milk in, wash the cars, change the
oil, rotate the tires, rake the leaves, fertilize the lawn, shovel the
driveway, fix leaky faucets, and balance the washing machine. “I
certainly didn’t enjoy it,’’ he says, “but I understand it a little
better now.’’

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Seems to me that "steering" kids through issues should mean TEACHING
them to HANDLE them.

The irony is that, while kids SHOULD probably get instructions on non-
house-chores such as being interviewed for a job, getting job skills,
writing resumes, etc, in the past, many kids probably got just as
little instruction as they do now. The difference is, they were
expected to take the initiative to ASK adults for instruction. If they
didn't ask, they weren't considered mature for their age.